Posted by
Patrick Henry on Thursday, January 01, 2009 11:19:57 PM
No, I didn't get snockered on New Year's eve. After all that's been said (and
precious little done) about tort reform, I decided to start 2009 by reframing
the troublesome subject. It fits, after all. "Form" is a word that describes the
shape things are in, and "retort" means to shout back. When it comes to the
woeful state of litigation in the U.S. somebody NEEDS to shout about the
shape things are in.
Judgeships sit unfilled while politicians angle for leverage to either force or
thwart their confirmations. Court dockets are inundated with backlogs of unheard
cases, and clogged with preposterous lawsuits like that of the idiot in New York
who wanted millions for a lost pair of pants, or the atheist donkey Michael Newdow
who wishes to deny the president-elect to be sworn in on Lincoln's Bible, or to say
"so help me God." The lunatics are sure running the asylum, and a plethora of greedy
lawyers are helping them do it. Is it any wonder that the rest of the civilized world
is taking us less seriously these days?
Think how much time, money and grief could be saved if judicial appointments
became strictly about the law, and not about politics. Or if judges worked strictly
on enforcing the constitution instead of trying to re-write it. Or if the millions of
nuisance suits were thrown out before they ever made it onto a docket.
In this country where anyone can sue anyone else at the drop of a hat, some
adult needs to step in and end the madness. I mean, common sense ought to tell
us that there isn't a pair of pants ever made worth $57M, shouldn't it?
What is needed is a triage system that screens out such moronic claims before
they are ever considered by a judge, let alone a jury. In a criminal proceeding
the law enforcement and prosecutorial system have to show probable cause that
a crime has been committed and that the defendant may have committed it. What
if that held true in civil courts as well? What if a triage team was charged with
determining whether a reasonable probability that injury or material affront in
fact existed, and whether there was sufficient probable cause to believe that a
defendant, through act(s) of omission or commission was the proximate cause?
What if, further, such a team determined, in advance, the limits of liability and
the standard of proof that had to be met? I guarantee you that a large percentage
of these nuisance suits would never get into court to clog our legal system.
Unfortunately, it will never happen. Congress is made up of ambulance chasers
who have to do something for a living after they lose an election (unless, like
Stevens, Jefferson, Rangel, etc., they've feathered their nest sufficiently to
retire to their island paradise). And the American Bar Association's lobby will
fight meaningful tort reform to their last breath, which can't some soon enough for
most of us.
So, after all the hand-wringing about tort reform, the rest of us will still be
left with only form retort, and the ultimate riddle. How many weasels does it
take to make up a United States Congress? Happy New Year!